1. SASSY GIRLS
Sass really isn’t necessary all the time. I’m sassy, but there’s a difference between being sassy and being a stupid bitch.
I never would have thought that glasses without lenses would be “in style”. Since when was it “hip” to wear glasses? Especially when you don’t even need them!? There are the hipsters that wear glasses and neon colors and shit, then there are hipsters that don’t wear bras and pants up to their chins (American Apparel clones), and then there are the hipsters that dress like the homeless people I used to see at Tent City. These kids probably come from a decent family but decided to rebel and dress like they drink a bottle of Olde English for breakfast. Looking homeless is awesome, bra, just wait ’til you’re actually living on the street! Oh wait, daddy wouldn’t let that happen.
3. PEOPLE THAT SUCK THEIR TEETH
Especially the girls. My natural reaction to someone making mouth noises at me is that it’s something sexual. “Sorry, I don’t swing that way…”
4. NEW MUSIC
Do I need to explain?
5. THE METAL SCENE/CULTURE
“Love the band, hate the fans.”
Especially the people that hate blacks. What they don’t know is that most of the music they like was originally black music at some point…
7. PEOPLE THAT TRY TO MAKE IT AS OBVIOUS AS POSSIBLE THAT THEY’RE GAY
I really couldn’t care less which sexual organ you prefer… and your voice didn’t sound like that last year.
8. CREEPY GUYS
What bothers me are the guys that yell at you from cars. They KNOW you’re not going to get in, but they do it as a dominance thing. There’s a difference between guys that stake out in their cars and guys that drive past and yell at you: The first, you should be afraid. The second, you should yell, “I’M ONLY THIRTEEN!”
9. GIRLS THAT HATE GIRLS
I don’t like a lot of girls, but I don’t go out of my way to make it obvious and call them bitches. Let the bitches deal with their own kind.
10. SCANDINAVIAN BLACK METAL
…What the fuck is this!?
Get that shit off your face and be a man, alright, you’re not some black magic wizard that can raise the dead and conquer land and ride mammoths through the icy winter forest with your Viking hair blowing in the wind. Fuck. Off.
12. TYPICAL NIRVANA FANS
They’re not the first “grunge” band and they never have been and never will be. Just because everyone’s favorite angst-ridden lead singer committed suicide in grunge’s heyday doesn’t mean they invented it. Grunge didn’t “die” because Kurt Cobain killed himself. If anyone’s gonna say “grunge is dead” it’s gonna be when Mark Arm from Mudhoney dies.
13. POWER METAL
Again… what the fuck is this!?
14. GIRLS THAT FEEL THE NEED TO TELL EVERYONE THEY’RE HOT
Especially the girls that look like they’re from the south side of Chicago. Or the girls that try to dress like they’re from the south side of Chicago, and still say they’re hot. I don’t care if you’re hot and all the guys want you, because A) you’re not, and B) all those guys probably have a psycho ex-girlfriend, a few babies, and a welfare check waiting for them in the mail.
15. STUPID SLANG
And this is coming from somebody with a lazy fucking mouth. How many times can you say “true say” in one sentence, honestly. Or what hipsters say before they tell you something that’s *really* important: “I won’t lie to you,” like, I didn’t think you were gonna lie, but since you say it so much, now I’m gonna think you’re lying. But then I remember that I’m having a conversation with a HIPSTER, how important and intelligent did I think it was gonna be?
16. PEOPLE THAT SAY THEY LIKE EVERY GENRE OF MUSIC EXCEPT “COUNTRY”
Considering country music is such a broad genre, you’re a fucking idiot. So, I’m assuming you like polka, metal, hip hop, disco, and all the other awesome genres of music. You hate country, but you love “Sweet Home Alabama” and you love your teen idol’s version of a “country” song that would even make Kenny Rogers cringe. Ya, you’re a real “music junkie”, alright.
17. SASSY GIRLS THAT FEEL THE NEED TO COMMENTATE THROUGH YOUR CONVERSATION
Especially when you’re really not in the mood to talk in the first place, then some sassy bitch comes along and feels the need to comment on your reactions, facial expressions, and what you say. Like, go work for the Ghetto Animal Planet, because no one cares. And if anything was ever said, you’d get a sassy girl all up in your face and your only defense would be, “I didn’t say anything about yo mama!”
18. KIDS/PEOPLE THAT ABUSE WELFARE
This doesn’t count the kids that actually NEED the money, because that’s what welfare is, everyone who wants to actually do something with their life but needs a hand is what welfare is SUPPOSED to be about. What pisses me off are the kids (some of my friends) that decide to rebel, move out of the house, don’t even think of getting a job, and get welfare checks. Hell, I could use that welfare money more than them. That money is for people that are in NEED TEMPORARILY, not people who are lazy, hate the government – even though that’s where their checks come from – and spend it all on weed and alcohol. Those things are luxuries, and since you’re mature enough to live on your own, you should be mature enough to pay for your own shit.
There are more to come, because these 18 things that piss me off are only from one day. The useless bitchiness will continue in time.